warning

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease.

This disease is contracted through high risk behavior, although cases have also been reported of individuals or whole families contracting it through prolonged contact with certain news media or social groups. It is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced «gonna re-elect him»).

Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to:

Antisocial personality disorder traits;

delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;

chronic mangling of the English language;

extreme cognitive dissonance;

inability to incorporate new information;

pronounced xenophobia;

inability to accept responsibility for actions;

exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;

uncontrolled facial smirking;

ignorance of geography and history;

tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies;

and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease can have spread so widely after originating relatively recently in a Texas Bush.

(Thanks Deb!)

Over titling

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York.

Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl’s life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: «You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: «Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl»

The man says: «But I am not a New Yorker!»

«Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: ‘Brave American saves life of little girl'» – the policeman answers.

«But I am not an American!» – says the man.

«Oh, what are you then?»

The man says: – «I am an Arab from Iraq!»

The next day the newspapers says: «Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog».

(Joke sent by Deb to me this afternoon)

Blog Widget by LinkWithin